Can a mother’s love be measured?
Sunitha Anand
When the word mother is uttered, there is an automatic feeling of home that arises in most people. Of course, we all have our share of a favourite parent, but the position of a mother cannot be discounted. However, we all grew up with fairy-tales and the one common theme somehow was around the ‘Stepmom’! Hansel and Gretel, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Rapunzel…the list goes on about how they struggled due to the wicked, jealous and evil stepmom. No wonder then on how influenced we are as adults too. Isn’t it true that the word stepmom itself is said in hushed, embarrassed tones?
The memory and stereotype grows with the multiple remakes of these stories being made into movies every year. The eternal fight of good against evil is always applauded and as humans we revel in such depictions. But the generalising and labelling ‘step-moms’ does seem unfair considering that life expectancy is unpredictable and some choices are made with the heart.
The bible also says remarriage should be encouraged. Then why is it frowned upon or so difficult to convince families if two souls find each other after being widowed and want to share the love with each other’s children? Somehow the father has always been seen as a provider and the onus of proving her love and commitment has fallen on the mother. Does a woman become less of a mother if she has not given birth – who decides or measures the extent of love she showers on ‘her’ children?
There is a Stepmother’s day observed the Sunday after Mother’s Day since 2000 – most of us didn’t know that. But then, why have a separate day for someone who chose to love children who are not her own, someone who chose not to have children but became a mom by choice, someone who fate deemed childless and still she chose to adopt orphans…the combinations are endless. Eyebrows are raised if parents go for adoption after a biological child too. In such a situation, the mother and father probably over compensate in the amount of affection and care they shower on the second child. Does that mean there is ‘step motherly’ treatment given to either child I wonder.
A person is valued by the character, morals and integrity he or she displays. You may be a model student, a great mother yourself, an upstanding citizen in society or a politician – feedback boils down to how you were brought up, especially by your mom/ mother figure. The credit could go to the mom, stepmom, mother-in-law, grandmother or heart-mom. We have all had such Amazons to look up to and become better human beings because we grew in her heart and not her stomach. Let us break the shackles of prejudices and old wives’ tales, let’s not judge on face value and give the lady a chance.
